We, humans, are complex individuals to deal with and so are our relationships. While they can be a source of immense love and support, bring joy to us, the could also lead us to a miserable path. Every relationship has its own set of problems depending on the individuals that are in it. When it comes to love driver relationships, few things are a big no-no.
To sustain any relationship it is must for both the partners to understand each other. While the romance and love might make you overview a few things, when it comes to long term, every small thing does count.
We often tend to ignore the red flags in a relationship specially when it is relatively new. Whereas, the small things add up to become deal-breakers.
According to surveys, modern relationships these days end faster than they start. This is due to a lack of clarity and available options. If at any point you feel your partner is toxic for you, cutting the ties and moving on is a better option.
Here are the top 10 deal-breakers in a relationship you must avoid for a healthy and happy long-lasting relationship.
1. Being selfish in a relationship
Is there a bigger turnoff than people who are self-centric and see nothing above or beyond them? Their priority is always themselves and their happiness. Self-love is super important in any relationship but always keeping yourself above your partner isn’t really a good idea.
Whether it is emotional support or physical pleasure, a mutual give and take is what makes relationships last. Always running behind your selfish pleasure definitely upsets the better half in most relationships. No one likes to feel like an option and not a priority to their partner.
2. Abusive behaviour towards your partner
Being abusive doesn’t always mean causing physical pain to your partner. Causing emotional or social damage to your partner is equally abusive. No one despite their gender, age and time they have spent in building up a relationship should take any form of abuse.
If your partner has a tendency of saying things to hurt your feelings, doesn’t respect you, hit you or verbally abuses you, it’s an instant deal-breaker. No matter how guilty they might feel about it later, they will definitely repeat it. Abusive behaviour from your partner can put you in a miserable spot.
3. Being a hypocrite
The base for any long, healthy and happy relationship is trust. Not every person is a hundred per cent honest in a relationship but lying over small things doesn’t help. It is very important to win your partner’s trust and keep it intact.
A clear pattern of lying about things like family, friends, ex-partner, money etc are signs your partner can’t be trusted. Being a hypocrite never really helps any relationship. The lying could turn into a habit causing damage to your trust ultimately leading in separation.
4. Detaching yourself from the spouse
When you detach yourself from your partner, the communication gaps build in. Lack of communication or not having smooth communication could have adverse effects on your relationship.
Keeping your partner at an arms distance often makes them feel ignored, alone and annoyed. This could instigate jealousy, vulnerability and insecurity in your partners head. All of this ultimately acts as a deal-breaker.
5. Anger issues
If your partner has anger issues and isn’t ready to work on them, it’s time for you to re-think about your relationship with them. Every relationship does have its fair share of fights but fighting over small things isn’t healthy. What’s even more toxic is not doing anything to resolve them.
Anger issues aren’t restricted to breaking things, being abusive in a relationship. But taunting over small things, hurting your sentiments, name-calling in a fit of anger does count. When you can problem-solve as a couple and make it through these types of hurdles, your bond will be stronger as a result. However, if each day is filled with anger and you find yourself fed up with your partner most of the time, it’s time to exit this relationship.
Infidelity can shatter the strongest of the relationships. Cheating on your partner is the worst thing you could do to your spouse in a relationship. Infidelity is again confused with sexual cheating whereas it is anything that you hide from your partner, lies to them about or act performed behind their back.
Whether it’s talking to your ex, meeting people outside relationship your partner might have a problem with, emotional infidelity or being sexually active with other people none of it is acceptable in a relationship. It simply means you don’t respect and love your partner as well as your relationship enough. Infidelity is one of the biggest deal-breaker in a relationship and leaves the partner heartbroken.
7. Not being appreciative
In order to maintain a great relationship, both the partners should feel important and appreciated. If your partner takes you for granted or never appreciates the effort you do for them, it’s time for two of you to have a serious conversation. Small gestures of love and appreciation goes a long way in relationships.
This doesn’t mean to compliment every small thing your partner does but a little compliment never hurts anyone. It’ll leave your partner feel needed and happy. The appreciation could be verbal or through the actions, but it’s important for your partner to know and feel they matter to you.
No one is the exact same person at every moment. We all go through mood swings, for starters, and we all evolve as we age. That said, f your partner feels like a drastically different person from one day to the next, engaging in contradictory actions and statements all the time, that might be a sign that they’re not a good fit for you. Sure, your partner may be lovely and romantic half the time, but if they’re uninterested and selfish the other half, is it really worth it? A good partner is someone who strives to give you the best version of themselves all the time, not just on special occasions.
9. Being impolite to others
Your partner might be the most loving person to you but is that all that matters? If your partner doesn’t treat helping staff properly, is rude to service providers, never introduce you to other people or just behaves inappropriate, reconsider your relationship maybe?
Being impolite to others is a sign of immaturity, shows they live in their ego bubble and lack basic etiquettes. You should be proud to stand side by side with your partner, knowing that they’ll do their best never to let you down and will show common decency to all the people they cross paths with.
10. No space to breathe in the relationship
Being possessive of your partner is one thing whereas dominating them or making them feel congested isn’t. It is very important to have your own opinion and to be allowed to do things you like as an individual. Changing your bad habits is a healthy way of doing things whereas forcing your partner to change their lifestyle, habits, friends and job just because you are insecure isn’t the nicest.
Both the partners should have mutual respect, trust and understanding towards each other’s life, career and lifestyle. The breathing space in every relationship is a must.
If you are in a relationship, try and avoid these small things that have big effect on your relationship. And if you are going through any trouble in your paradise, make sure you communicate with your partner and make them understand.