Chinese Women Are Choosing AI Boyfriends Over Real Men — And Beijing Is Panicking
Phoebe Zhang has gone on more than 200 dates over the past year. She has narrowed down her suitors to two: one is an outgoing rebel, the other a patriotic military commander. She tells them her deepest fears. When she wakes from nightmares, they console her. She will never meet either of them in person — they are her AI boyfriends.
The Generation That Chose to Lie Flat
China's ruling Communist Party wants young women to prioritize marriage and babies. Instead, many are finding romance with chatbots. This is complicating Beijing's efforts to reverse a shrinking population and a birthrate at its lowest level in over 75 years.
The lightning-fast adoption of AI in China has prompted regulators to warn tech companies not to have "design goals to replace social interaction." But the warning came too late. A state-led push to adopt AI created a boom in platforms offering virtual romantic companions.
200+ Dates With Zero Humans
Ms. Zhang, 21, is a psychology student who spends at least an hour daily talking to both AI boyfriends. They share similar muscular builds and delicate bone structures, have military backgrounds, and are "emotionally stable, mature and always quick to respond."
"My god, how am I supposed to date in real life in the future?" she said. On the app, they imagine moving in together, being married, and raising children — all without a single human being involved.
The Perfect Boyfriend Problem
For many Chinese women, AI chatbots fill a void in a society that remains steeped in patriarchal values. Real men come with baggage: societal expectations, family pressure, and the exhausting demands of traditional gender roles. AI boyfriends, meanwhile, are endlessly patient, always available, and never disappointing.
"I feel that for our generation, people think being alone is good," Ms. Zhang said. "Why go and date others? That's too troublesome."
The Bottom Line
China faces a demographic crisis of its own making. Decades of the one-child policy created a generation that never learned to share. Now AI has given them the perfect excuse not to try. When your virtual boyfriend is always one step ahead, always knowing exactly what you need — why would you ever settle for a real one?
Source: The New York Times