There are plenty of couples all over the world. People date after heavy breakups, divorces, betrayals, and many other events and personal traumas. There isn’t anything surprising in dating a widower as well. However, if a divorce or a breakup is hard, becoming a widower is even harder. Therefore, dating widowers is quite a challenge and not everyone can handle it.
Thankfully, you can always work on yourself, learn a few tips and rules, and turn your challenge into a successful relationship. See what kind of challenges you should expect when dating as a widower and how to proceed to make everything work. Nothing is impossible, so if you met a widower or became a widower, there is no need to despair. The tips below will be helpful.
It takes time
Dating after becoming a widower is hard. “Everyone needs time to heal this pain. Someone needs a year, other people will not recover even in several years.“ (Source: https://datingserviceusa.net/dating-a-widower/). Every case is truly individual and you, by no means, can use one and the same approach for each of the widowers. However, the only thing is true — time is required!
You cannot just forget about your late spouse and jump into a new relationship at once. It is normal to be grieving for some time. Someone needs one month to recover while others need years. Try to follow the tips of psychologists and family coaches and exit your relationship with your deceased spouse.
First, you need to cry. It’s normal to cry. Take as much time as you need for that. Then, you need to stop looking at your common pictures. It doesn’t mean you need to throw away all of her photos and forget about your late wife. You just need to stop torturing yourself. When you realize you start socializing again, communicating with other people, and going out, then you may consider dating again.
A new relationship is normal
Many people start thinking that they died along with their spouses. Giving up on your personal life and yourself, in general, is very wrong. You need to move forward and the first thought you should put up with is that starting a new relationship is not only ok but necessary. There is no need to blame yourself for that.
You are alive and you deserve to be happy. Just give yourself time to recover and start breathing fully again. If you have children, they will appreciate it. They must see their father happy again. After all, you are the example they will follow when building their own lives in the future.
Dating a widower: red flags
If you meet a widower and try to build a relationship, it is great for you both. You need to be patient and understanding. Realize that your new date needs a lot of time to forget about his loss and start dating again. However, certain things require specific attention when dating a widower:
- He keeps talking about his late wife non-stop;
- He tells you he will never love anyone like his deceased spouse;
- You feel being hidden from his family even if you have been together for a long time;
- Your date refuses to remove the photos of his late spouse from your common home even if you moved in together.
These are very simple things to pay attention to if you are dating a widower. Being a grieving husband is absolutely normal. Anyone must understand that. However, if you notice any of the above-mentioned signs, it is better to stop this unhealthy relationship before it’s too late. Do not hope that it takes time for him to recover. In such situations, nothing can be improved. If this is happening, it is not healthy and you are not obliged to put up with that.
How to gain the trust of a widower
It sounds strange because why would you need to prove something when dating a widower? You are right, people learn to trust each other in any relationship. The case of a widower is a bit different. Losing your partner is not easy, especially if she was the love of your life. Therefore, you need to weigh all the pros and cons at once before starting a relationship with a widower.
Patience is your everything
If you are impatient and prefer everything to be as you wish, dating a widower is most likely not for you. Widowers often recall their losses, late spouses, and have mood swings. Everything is even harder if they have kids. You need to be patient. Hurrying things up is not what you should do, for sure. Give your new crush time to make things serious between you.
Do not try to substitute for his late wife
She is not your competitor. This is a very common mistake of people who start dating a widower. They want to show they are better than their deceased spouses and try to replace them. You will never be able to do this. This is his past and you might be his future. If you accept the fact that his late wife is a part of his life, you will succeed. Just become a new chapter of his life and do not even try to compete with his past.
There is always a chance
Any relationship deserves a chance and can be successful. Just try to avoid common mistakes and pay attention to various red flags if you consider dating a widower. Use DatingServiceUSA to follow tips and recommendations from experts and just improve your current relationship. Be patient with your widower and then, everything will work out as successfully as you wish.